Guest blog from Amanda's dad

The last couple of years have been extremely challenging, and my life has changed so dramatically since hearing that Amanda may only have a few months to live.  I really can’t accept that thought or take it in; hence I still hope and pray constantly that she will make a complete recovery.  Over the last few weeks there have been various celebrations of Amanda’s life, initially at our church, and more recently at an event at a local restaurant which included a celebration of her successful business career.  Although these were tremendously uplifting events, in other ways they were quite painful.  It can’t be right that a parent should have to deal with such experiences like these; it isn’t in the correct order.  The knock on effect of Amanda’s condition on me and my wife has been massive, almost unbearable, particularly since our youngest daughter died after contracting meningitis at the age of 15 years.


I certainly can’t tell anyone how to cope with something like this, as I guess that everyone deals with things in their own individual way.   Amanda and I are having counselling, but I’m not very good at ‘opening up’, I don’t think that many men are.  Amanda seems to handle every situation better than most, even the counselling.   A friend of mine advised me to try to do the everyday simple things in life that I would normally do, and that seems to work for me.  I speak to Amanda at least once every day [as I always have done], and we meet up whenever possible for a walk/ chat /and something to eat.   I really cherish those times. I think it is also important not to have any regrets regarding relationships, and to let people know what they mean to you.  I’m 100% sure that Amanda knows exactly what she means to me!


Whatever happens in the future I feel so lucky and privileged to have had two absolutely wonderful daughters, and I have loved being a father and always will, it seems so completely natural to me. 


Amanda’s had tremendous support throughout this incredibly traumatic period from her family and friends, and no doubt will continue to do so.  At times like this I think that you get back from relationships what you have put in. Perhaps there is a lesson there somewhere?

Amanda’s Dad.