Wednesday, 20 July 2016

A much needed boost

As you would expect, the last few days have been extremely emotional. Mum's funeral is on Saturday and I have been belting out her favourite song, 'I am what I am' by Gloria Gaynor in her honour. With tears pouring down my cheeks, I recall her face and revel in the plethora of memories I carry with me.

It was also a big week for my health as I had an appointment with my brain surgeon. Now good news has been evading me over the last couple of years, but, to mix my metaphors, today was a shimmering ray of hope. Having been told by my oncologist that he was wrong about my terminal diagnosis, this was reinforced by my brain surgeon who smiled as she booked me my next appointment in JANUARY! I haven't unravelled the bunting yet, since I still have secondary breast cancer, the remnants of two brain surgeries and an aggressive cancer waiting to pounce, but it's great news at a time when it was most needed. My terminal diagnosis has even been down-graded to 'secondary' and it has restored mine and my Dad's hope at a painful time.

I feel like it's a major blessing and I am so thankful to God and to my friends, family and well-wishers. Where there is faith there is also hope and for that I am truly thankful.

My special friend,
There are no words to describe how pleased I am at this incredible news. I have said for a long time that you're a walking miracle and would defy medical science. It may have started out as a joke but you've proven me right. Nobody deserves this glimmer of hope after the last 3 years more than you. I am now so looking forward to more special times with you, regardless of how long both of us have left on this earth but hopefully we'll both be around for a long time yet and having rooms in that nursing home may one day become a reality.

Monday, 11 July 2016

Sad news

On Saturday, my clever, quirky, brilliant Mum left this world for the next. Known for her off-the-wall sense of humour and passionate beliefs, she has left a big hole in the hearts of those who loved her. An affectionate person with lots of love to give, Mum wouldn't pass a homeless person without giving them some money and she was particularly drawn to life's under-dogs whom she thrived on helping. Fiercely loyal, she was also very thoughtful, and birthdays and Christmases were ideal opportunities for her generous present giving. 

Sadly, however, her life was blighted by my sister's death and she never recovered from this agonising loss. Steph and Mum were like kindred spirits and loved animals and sunny days. They were just happy to be in each other's company. Without her, life was difficult, and we tip-toed through debilitating periods of sadness and frustration.   

Despite this tragedy though we had many treasured times including lots of holidays where we mostly laughed like drains at our family's in-jokes. We particularly loved Spanish holidays where Mum would be happy dangling her feet in the pool and enjoying the sun on her face. Moments to be treasured.

At times a force to be reckoned with, at others a fragile soul, wearing her heart on her sleeve, she was a complex person with a storming intellect.

My world will be significantly the poorer without her.